Last night I got home from work to find my roommate lying on the couch watching TV. We haven’t had any channels at all since we canceled the cable a couple months back, so I was confused about what was happening. “Is that TV?” I asked (stupidly), waking him. “It’s cable,” he replied (groggily), rolling over on the couch.

I left feeling kind of gross. My mind immediately leapt to: Wow, my roommates think I’m completely nuts, and so they got cable back without even asking me. Irrational, but I honestly couldn’t think of any other possible explanation. In the end it turns out my other roommate, who claims to only be able to do homework in front of the TV, decided on a whim that she needed cable back ASAP and couldn’t wait to discuss it with us. She figured she’d just pay for the whole thing if we didn’t want it.

So now we have stupid cable. Of course I’ll feel like a twit if I watch any TV at all and then try to get out of contributing to the cost of the cable. And of course I’ve already watched the damn thing, so basically I’m a giant hypocrite.

And so it is that I awake (or rather, am awakened) from my utopian TV-free dream. I’m not surprised – 2007 has been that kind of year so far: this cable hoo hah seems the perfect metaphor for the feeling I have that my own destiny seems just beyond my reach. Depressing, really. I’m raging against it, but kind of powerlessly. Damn.

What is a girl to do? Go to sleep and hope that she gets up on the right side of the bed in the morning, I guess.

Sweet dreams,
xox n

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